The Day The World Flipped Over
Today was the day that the world flipped over
The sky turned green, and blue was the clover
Everything that was distorted and changed
Things that once were, were now rearranged
The cowboys rode turtles around outer-space
Aliens drove street-cars in the Wild West plains
Carpenters used type-writers, Authors used tools
Lifeguards gave flu shots, Doctors guarded pools
Children taught school to their moms and dads
Frogs were in trees, birds on lily pads
Cats chased dogs, cheese ate mice
Grandmas were mean and criminals were nice
Flowers buzzed around and pollinated bees
Lumberjacks were getting cut down by the trees
We swam on the mountains and climbed all the seas
Rode camels through the snow, and through the dessert we skied
We ate ketchup on pancakes and syrup on fries
Pickles on pizza and even in pies
Cheese in our coffee, nachos with mustard
Salt flavored toffee, peppery custard
We saw with our ears, and heard through the nose
Felt with our eyes and smelled with our toes
Our tongue still tasted, but not quite completely
Things that were bitter, now tasted sweetly
Babies where changing the grown-ups' diapers
Bikes raced on salt flats swishing wind-shield wipers
Planes drove on streets and cars flew around
Helicopters sailed oceans, boats just laid on the ground
We went to bed in the morning, and woke up at night
When we walked in the room, we turned out the lights
We bathed in mud puddles, got dirty in the shower
Minutes were seconds and seconds were hours
The sun glowed dimly all through the night
The moon shined brightly and lit up the sky
The rain lifted up from the clouds on the ground
The ocean was still, no waves, no sounds
And just like that, the world flipped back over
The sky turned blue, and green was the clover
Everyone did as they normally do
And all was routine again, through and through
I can't help but miss that strange universe
When everything switched up and got all reversed
Doing what normally makes little sense
Like camping in houses, and living in tents
But planting and apple and eating a seed
That somehow kind of makes sense to me
Or a Dad being mom-like, or a Mom like a Dad
Would be a little bit different, but not all that bad
All I know is that a glimpse of change
When everything's backwards, and all rearranged
Makes me think of what I already have
And makes me thankful and comfy and glad.
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The Bothersome Calico Weevily Snoops
Scienstists have done some new discovering
A force of nature that's always been hovering
But too small to see to the naked eye
These crafty critters... identified
You know that feeling when clothes don't fit?
You can't seem to put your finger on it
All day you wiggle to make it feel right
Your pants feel too loose, and also too tight
Your shoes feel like there's sand in the bottom
Stray hairs in your shirt, but you can't seem to spot 'em
Your socks feel like they've got bubbly toes
Shoe laces too short to tie in a bow
That mysterious nuisance has finally been solved
An animal's all along been involved
And they are to blame for your clothing's distresses
Destroying your shoes, your socks, your dresses
When you're asleep, they crawl in your drawers
They sneak through the cracks in your closets' doors
Tightening threads and some they let out
Loosening hems all throughout
Some go outside and bring in some dirt
And carefully place it inside your shirt
Positioning hairs in nooks and crannies
In parts of your pants that tickle your fannies
They draw out your socks but only a little
An irritant that sets your toes to wiggle
Grains of sand they put in the cracks
That itch at your bum in the seams of your slacks
They stretch out the button holes almost twofold
So now all the buttons are too small to hold
They're friends with moths and invite them in
To nibble some holes in your wool cardigan
When you awake and start to get dressed
These out of sight devils are at rest in their nest
Leaving the mess of your garbs and apparel
Sending you into a dancing of peril
In their analysis, they wanted to know
The reason the beasties bungled your clothes
They found that it's just like how ants makes their hills
Or Bees make honey, and why termites drill
The bugs they are feeding off static 'lectricity
Pulling and pawing the nitty the gritty
Charging up fabric to get themselves fed
Working the grind stone will you are in bed
So really these insects, they mean you no harm
They have no intent to cause itchy arms
The job that they do is not against you
But simply the work they must carry through
Garment malfunctions that make you feel irked
Are caused by a tribe of meddling jerks
Discovered and named by the scientist troop
As the “Bothersome Calico Weevily Snoops.”
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